I am going through one of my periodic obsessions with house paint colors.  I am visiting hardware stores and collecting paint cards and comparing them and then going to other hardware stores for more variations, and sometimes for samples that veer off into wildly different directions.

Dear paint companies, how do you go about this?

See if you can figure out what colors these might be.

Abstracta
Alligator Smile
Beguile
Center Stage
Farm Fresh
Glass Slippers
Limousine
Opera Glasses
Pale Hound
Pelican
Pelt
Poetry in the Park
Rising Tide
Secret Rendezvous
Stardust
Tinsel Beam
Tornado Watch
Trade Secret

Seriously, paint companies, do you all get really drunk and then do this?

(“I’ve got one!  Tinsel Beam!” – “Ooooooooh!” – high fives all around)

By the way, Alligator Smile is a sweet, pale green, and not the color of dried blood and shreds of poodles and strong old teeth.